Not Sure About this Marathon Thing

Today had me rethinking this whole marathon thing. Michelle and I planned to meet in the park a little later since it’s getting nice and cool and don’t have to get up at the crack of dawn to beat the heat. We planned to meet at 8:30 but I didn’t make it out there ‘till 9:30. When we started training I was always the one sitting in the park waiting, but the last two times she’s been sitting there all perky and ready to conquer the world, just waiting for me.

We got off to a nice start. Did a five mile loop, skipping the big ugly monstrous hill up at the top of the park, but running all the smaller ones nice and solid. We were both feeling good. Then turned out Michelle had to leave early right after we had started the four mile loop and I was all ready to go too. But after she left I was like why I don’t have to go…so I’m feeling like Super Woman and all and I’m like I’m gona run these fourteen miles. The next seven miles went great…I did a loop then started another loop…matter of fact I decided since I was by myself I was finally going to try that run/walk thing. I had a nice little thing going. I walked up the hills and ran the rest of the way. Actually it seemed to be saving me a lot of energy. I was like, “I’m gona finish this strong!”

Well right around mile 12, E-man just lost it. Usually he starts crying, I feed him, he’s happy and I put him back in the stroller and keep running. But not this time, I fed him and put him back in that stroller and he looked at me like, “You’ve gota be kidding! Not the stroller again!” and just started whaling. I mean he was crying with tears and everything…I just felt horrible. But I had nowhere to go but on because at this point I was stuck at the top of the loop far from any train or anything…at least from any train that was going to Queens. I was ready to sit down and start crying myself. I would have called my BD to come get us right then and there but he was in Europe at the moment working so I picked up my baby and I carried him the last two miles. Those were the two most back-breaking miles. He was trying to be okay but he really just wanted out of the park, out of the heat and in his crib or to go crawling or whatever. He was better when I carried him but still a little fussy.

By then, my back was killing me, I was starving, I was exhausted, I’m holding my at-least-18-lb-baby and pushing the jogging stroller with the other hand. That was some workout. I barely dragged us to the diner next to the train station and sat down with a big sigh of relief and ordered a plate of eggs and bacon with French fries and toast, a grilled cheese sandwich with a pickle and coleslaw, a glass of tomato juice and a chocolate milkshake. The waiter looked at me and said, “So you want the tomato juice AND the milkshake!?”

I ran/walked a total of 14 miles, but with all the hills and with carrying E-man the last two miles and all, it was more like doing 18-20…that was some workout. But it got me to thinking, I’m all about pushing myself to the limit and all, but I can’t push my baby. And the problem is my BD would be happy to watch him, but I’m still breastfeeding. So I don’t know if this marathon thing is gona happen or not at this point, I really don’t. I just can’t put my baby through that, it’s so not fare to him. I just don’t know. It’s been one crazy week. I haven’t ran all week and it’s Thursday now. My BD has agreed to take us back to the track tomorrow. And then it’s supposed to rain all weekend except for Saturday afternoon so we’ll see about getting a long run in then. I guess I’ll just run ‘till E-man starts fussing or ‘till I can’t run anymore. And do a small loop that’s close to the train so I’m not stuck out in the boondocks when one of us looses it next time. We’ll see. I could sure use some motivation at this point. I just don’t know. I’ll keep you posted.